Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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