he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
