Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize