Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
