By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
