Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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