allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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