I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
