I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
