Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
