normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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