Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
