I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
