just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
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