big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Randomize
