You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize