Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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