I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
