Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
