just tell him i said nine months
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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