Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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