But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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