Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
