Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
