Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
