Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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