Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
