No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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