No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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