At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
