i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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