He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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