I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Even my vagina gasped.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
