the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
