Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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