U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
