I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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