Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she woke up with a sticky ear
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
