she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Me. At least after what I've been through.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
