So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
