DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
