I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
