Buhtt sex?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize