No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
