She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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