so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
All the doctor said was why
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
