My cat gives me a boner
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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