Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
