Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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