I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
