I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
