I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
