I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
