I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
