I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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