Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
