smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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