Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
ugly people sure do ruin things
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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