so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
