he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Randomize
