If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
